Look. I know what I said. I know I haven’t always been grateful. I know I don’t always approve. I know I send the occasional indignant tweet, like when Ruff Ruff describes a sphere as a circle (that’s just wrong!). I know I get cranky every time Numberjacks comes on and my three year old freaks out because the baddies are so scary (seriously, you need to give us some warning!). I know I laughed at all those plot ideas people suggested for the new series of Topsy and Tim. (but that show really is twintastically irritating. And sexist. And smug.) I know I sometimes add sugar or salt to Katie’s recipes. And I know I said those things about Mike the Knight (but he is a tit. I don’t take that back.)
But I’m sorry. Please forget I said that. Because most of what you do is so epically marvellous. Some of the presenters are borderline geniuses. Yes, Nina needs some help when it comes to hair and make up, and just watching her overzealous head movements is enough to make me call my osteopath, but the show is clever and engaging. Before I saw The Octonauts, I was barely even aware of the blobfish, and didn’t have a clue that the combtooth blenny was even a thing. Buzz n Tell is so ludicrously bonkers. The pathos of Duggee as he shares a favourite childhood toy with the Squirrels brings a tear to my eye. The Clangers, Sarah and Duck, Big and Small, Dinopaws, Furchester, Twirliwoos… All sublime.
Ok, so you can keep your alpacas. Tree Fu Tom does my nut in. The ‘harmonies’ those birds on the Zingzillas come up with are a crime against music. Even my three year old gets frustrated with some of the pathetic answers given on Kerwhizz (it’s multiple choice, for Ninky’s sake!), and (I know this might not be a popular opinion, but…) Bing needs to grow a pair.
But please don’t go! I promise to buy more merchandising!
If you want to read a serious and seriously good post about why it is crucial that Cbeebies must remain on freeview, please read this one by Alison.