I haven’t had the best of days with Jet today – I should have been more suspicious as to why he was so quiet upstairs for so long, but when he finally came down, I kicked myself for my lack of curiosity.
Jet: (Urgently, wearing nothing more than a rather wet t-shirt) I need your help.
Me: (startled) Okay. What’s happened?
Jet: There’s a plug emergency. And it’s a bad one, I’m afraid.
This did not bode well. Upon arrival in the bathroom, I am greeted by what can be most accurately described as an ocean. Jet promptly slips over, landing in the vast puddle. I laugh to myself at his ‘plug emergency’ comments as I help him wipe up the floor, but didn’t find it so funny when I opened the drawers under the sink to discover that the majority of Stella’s clothes were soaked and I had to spend most of the next forty minutes clearing up the aftermath.
He was right, it was quite a bad one.
Cursing my naive enjoyment of the peaceful half hour that resulted in this carnage, I thought now would be a good time to reflect on some of things he has said lately that have made me laugh instead of scream.
Jet has just got a Woody (The Toy Story one). He has become, overnight, Jet’s bff. Poor old Kevin barely gets a look-in these days…
Chris: (to me) Has Woody usurped Kevin?
Stella is a legendary climber, preferring to be at least a couple of feet above sea level at all times. The other day Jet overheard me refer to her as a mountain goat. So now he calls her Goat Climber 😀
At bedtime/tidy up time/time to leave or some other hour of doom, when told anything he doesn’t want to hear, he has begun to respond by saying:
Jet: (witheringly) Can you not say that please?
The other day, he must have been particularly irked by something I said, as he added to this chastisement:
Jet: (rolling his eyes) Can you not say that please? You awkward thing.
Recently, he has discovered the joy of talking into hollow containers and getting a bit of amplification for his wisdoms. The other day he picked up an empty aquadoodle pen and made the following public service broadcast:
Jet: (into pen) Attention all. There is no water or lid on this pen. Please get some water and a lid. Thank you.
(taking the pen away from his mouth) That was my (racking brain for correct word) fikamo.
Me: Do you mean announcement?
Jet: (Nodding, with the air of one who had that exact idea on the tip of his tongue) Announcement, yes. Announcement, I mean.
He has gone on to become a prolific announcer whenever he discovers a hollow object, providing vital front line information such as, “This is a shell” and “Can I have a cup of tea?”
I don’t know what it says about the company he’s keeping, but lately he’s been coming out with some really old fashioned phrases, which sound very sweet and incongruous coming from a three year old boy. For example, when he’s finished doing up his shoes, he jumps to his feet and says, “Righty-ho!” A few days ago Jet was upstairs when I heard our bedroom door slam. The handle is incredibly stiff to turn, so I went upstairs to check on him. He was frantically pumping the handle but couldn’t get out and when I opened the door for him he was in floods of tears. As I cuddled him, he explained, “I tried to open it myself, but it didn’t do the trick.”
Nearing the end of a long walk home, I selflessly amuse the children by singing them a lovely song about jungle animals, complete with sound effects.
Jet: Please can you stop singing now, darling.
My shoulders droop a little as I realise again how much he puts up with me nearly as much as I do him. 😉