Mike the f*%@ing Knight

mike

Mike the Knight, he’s a brave young hero. Er… I’ll stop you there.

No he’s not.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen him do anything that isn’t twattish. If he isn’t breaking something with a carelessly brandished lance, he’s pissing off a dragon. Sometimes simultaneously. He is openly disrespectful of everyone, even his own mother. Having carelessly smashed the handmade vase she made for a competition, he had the audacity to turn it into a shitty mosaic and declare it an improvement. This opinion goes on to be validated when he wins first prize. INFURIATING!

galahad

Please, Squirt. Call the RSPCA.

So intent on being knightly, he routinely acts like a complete bell-end, ignoring everyone else and just being a selfish prick. It’s a wonder to me he has any friends left. The long-suffering Galahad could not be blamed for feigning a limp in an effort to be sent to the glue factory. And the way he treats Trolly and his family – don’t get me started.

trolly

Go on, Trolly. Do him.

He’s such a little show off. If I was Queen Martha, I’d be mortified. His behaviour certainly doesn’t scream well-brought up, and I’m fairly confident that he’s a hard sell at matchmaking events all over Medieval Europe. It would be a flat refusal from Empress Matilda, and Eleanor of Aquitaine’s mum wouldn’t touch him with a barge pole. But somehow the people of his own village love the metal-headed little scamp.

There’s only one explanation – his dad must be one scary bastard.

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33 thoughts on “Mike the f*%@ing Knight

  1. Haha! I have actually still never seen this, but funnily enough, boyfriend had a major rant a couple of months ago about Mike the Knight being twattish! I probably looked at him like he was insane, and may have to apologise for not believing that Mike the Knight is a little s**t!

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  2. Mike the Knight is dreadful. Yes! I’m so glad you have brought it to everyone’s wider attention. If we’re not moaning about him it’s not a weekday morning (although I haven’t seen his annoying face for a while since falling in love with Ben and holly!). HE NEVER LEARNS and is so entitled and brattish…particularly in contrast to his sister. She seems to get a bit of a raw deal all round actually. Mike the knight…two dragons and a horse. Evie…a frog. The mother seems to have given up on both of them, I imagine she spends her day sat by a tower window blogging about yip and yap….

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    1. True! I’m so glad I appear to be getting backed up on this view – some of my real life friends think I’m a being a bit odd about this, particularly due to my strength of feeling on the subject 😀 Mike’s mum is definitely doing that – I can see it now.
      It is very fortunate that we have Milkshake to offer us an alternative in this situation #fisrtworldproblems x

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    1. Thanks! It seems they often make kids shows have a complete numpty at the centre of everything, twatting about and generally ruining things! They do also make good things, but it is no fun to rant about them!

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  3. So funny! Love it! That’s what I have noticed too. Have you seem the one with Father Christmas. It was chaos! Then he was trying to put things right (my a**!) lol! But they have good theme tune though… 😉

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  4. So funny! Love it! That’s what I have noticed too. Have you seem the one with Father Christmas. It was chaos! Then he was trying to put things right (my a**!) lol! But they have good theme tune though… 😉 #PicknMix

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  5. You are so right- he’s a little s**t! Every day is only an adventure because he cocks things up on a massive scale and then has to be rescued by his friends. He needs more parental supervision and a stern talking to. #picknmix

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  6. LOL it’s a bad sign when you are wishing the cartoon character gets arrowed! But yes, I agree – can’t watch this show. I don’t put it on in our house. #PicknMix

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  7. Hahaha, you know? That never occurred to me! What I have learnt from blogging, if Iddidn’t already know, is that I love moaning 🙂 so I guess it is just fuel to my fire 🙂 Thanks for your comment!

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  8. It is amazing how many kids TV characters are little sods, and yet get away with it time and time again, it used to be the case where the brats got their comeuppance! Let’s hope it doesn’t breed little girls and boys who are barts as well!

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  9. ‘Go on, Trolly. Do him.’ Heh, made me laugh. He is a bossy little twat. The only character that gets on my nerves more is bloody Nok Tok. Driving around Nara in his noisy car, destroying hopscotch games and scaring frogs and not giving a shit. Hmm, I think I may be getting overly invested in CBeebies.

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  10. Ha luckily when mine were small he wasn’t around 😉 though some of the stuff like the Fimbles they used to like drove me nuts!! This post cracked me up ha, thanks for linking up to #PicknMix lovely,

    Stevie xx

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