Since my last post about some of Jet’s funny outpourings, I have been on the lookout for more. Here are some of them for your delectation.
Regular readers may recognise “Stella face” in its upright position.
Jet walked into the bathroom whilst I was getting ready. Taking a good look at my ample bosom as he relieved himself, he clearly saw something that impressed him.
Jet: (pointing at my chest): Wow! You’ve got really big muscles here. Can I squeeze them?
Cornflakes are flakes of corn. Bran flakes are brown. Therefore, they are “brownflakes“. Obviously.
Breaking news – Daddy likes butter
Chris had been doing some work on our decrepit laptop when it crapped out before he had a chance to save his document. Whilst he fought the urge to finally throw it against the wall, quick as a flash, Jet rushed off to his Black and Decker workmate.
Jet: Don’t worry, I’ll get my tools. (handing him a small plastic hammer) You can use this one if you like.
Whether this was to fix it with or to smash it up remains unknown.
Recently, he has started saying “platamus” all the time. Sometimes this is as part of a phrase, for example, “Oh, you platamus!”. At other times it is just an exclamation all on its own. This works for me, after all ‘platamus’ speaks for itself, doesn’t it? .
Me: Do you mean platypus?
Jet: (shaking his head pityingly) No, Darling. (Slowly, with emphasis, as if talking to an idiot) Plat-A-Mus!
I pick Jet up from nursery, and try to instigate a discussion about what he has been up to (as if I need to ask. He is head to toe in paint, so painting has obviously been a large part of his morning)
Me: What have you been up to today at nursery?
Jet: (surreptitiously) I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.
Again, you may already be familiar with “Will face”
Jet bursts into the front room, surveys the scene and announces, “What on Earth are you doing?” I look up from my sewing expecting to see something bizarre, shocking, or at least interesting going on. What I actually see is the cat asleep on the back of the sofa, Stella wombling about the place and Chris sitting down drinking a cup of tea. A vision of complete normality.
So, if anyone can enlighten me as to what a platamus is, please do!