On Friday I am GOING BACK TO WORK. Here are some of the things that scare me about this fact:
The last couple of times I have had the audacity to leave the house on my own for more than an hour, my OH has forgotten that changing a baby’s nappy is a basic minimum requirement of parenting
My girl’s dummy will fall down the side of something, be put in a safe place, or be otherwise lost forever. This will not be discovered until she’s got the screaming heebee-jeebees
I will have to fit in the cursory cleaning and tidying* I usually do in around work
(*shoving stuff in the corner, wiping crumbs off the work surface/table onto the floor, hiding dirty things in the oven, etc)
My boy will be sent to playgroup in an embarrassingly filth-encrusted item of clothing or with his shoes on the wrong feet.
My girl will ingest a bit of the cat when no one is looking (I have just this minute got up from the sofa to remove a whisker from her dribbly little fist) or some other delectable item she finds lying on the floor. Whilst I would be impressed if she managed to spell out “mummy” in glitter letters, I would rather not find this in her nappy.
I will miss my loons when I am at work – we have been having lots of fun together
I won’t get to spend as much time with my husband and we will return to the revolving door arrangement we have been operating on ever since long before boy-chops joined us. I come in, he goes out.
I will have to actually go back to work, which is a very unappealing thought. Through the fug of my hazy memory, I wasn’t very happy, and had no confidence in what I was doing. If anything, the time away from it has served to magnify these feelings still further. I did look around for another job, but couldn’t help but think that if I’m feeling like this about going back to a familiar place, now won’t be the right time for an unfamiliar one. And I would miss my amazing colleagues.
In addition to this, I’m worried that the three letter acronyms and edu-speak language will have evolved beyond all recognition, and I will not have a clue what everyone is going on about.
Oh well, it probably won’t be that bad. Wish me luck!